Dear David,

We’re struggling with deciding when and where to move. We are recently retired, love to travel, and are considering selling the home we’ve lived in for 25 years. Our aging parents are in town and we feel they need us nearby, but our children and their families are a plane ride away. We feel torn between staying to support our parents and wanting to be more present in our grandkids’ lives. How do we decide what’s right? – TORN

DEAR TORN: You’re facing one of the most emotionally layered decisions you can make, and it’s completely normal to feel pulled in two directions. Clarity often comes from breaking complicated decisions into manageable steps, rather than trying to solve everything at once. Remember that you’re making a decision for today, not forever. Retirement gives you the freedom you had as a teenager, with the resources and perspective to shape the life you want. You don’t need to lock in a plan for the rest of your lives, you just need to choose the next step.

Start by assessing your parents’ needs, both as they are right now, and where they’re likely to be in the near future. You’re assuming you need to live close by, but support can take different forms, such as in-home help, a move to a more supportive living environment, or a defined safety network that can spring into action as needed. This is where honest conversation comes in: as uncomfortable as it can be, it’s critical to everyone’s happiness. Many people discover that their loved ones don’t want to stand in the way of their plans. Your parents probably have social lives, routines, and plans of their own.

Grandchildren grow quickly. Being closer to them can be incredibly meaningful, even if just for a season. Many retired couples adopt a “hub and spoke” lifestyle: a right-sized home for stability, paired with periods of extended travel or part-time living near their grandkids. If your family home no longer reflects your lifestyle, selling it can free up capital, reduce upkeep, and give you the freedom to travel while keeping a foothold in the community where your parents live.

PRO TIP: It’s important to remember that this is not a single, permanent decision, but a plan that can respect your parents’ needs, keep you connected to your grandkids, and reflect the retirement lifestyle you want. Instead of choosing a single path, leave yourself the flexibility to adapt as life changes. Perhaps look at options you haven’t considered in decades, such as becoming a renter to maintain your flexibility. A local one-bedroom apartment would give you a place to land when you need to be close, without the long-term commitment of home ownership. Most rentals come with a one-year lease that converts to a simple 60-day notice, which gives you far more control than you may realize.

Run the numbers. Investing the proceeds from the sale of your home may offset your rental costs. And when it comes to staying connected with your grandkids, seasonal rentals offer a practical way to be present, without uprooting yourselves permanently. Focus on the next 20 months instead of the next 20 years, and you may find answers are closer than you think. #Advice #AskDavid #TheNegotiator 

David is a top-selling Broker in Kitchener-Waterloo Region. He works personally with you when selling or buying your home. Moving? Get it right. Ask David today! Call or text 519-577-1212.