Dear David, 

I lost my partner a few months ago. Her sister, who lives an hour away, is named the executor of the estate. So far she has not done anything meaningful to move things forward. I’ve tried to be patient and offered to help, but the family just keeps moving boxes from one room to another without making any real progress. There are important matters that need attention, such as the sale of my partner’s house and trailer. What options are available to have the sister removed or replaced as executor, so the estate can be handled properly? I’m not looking for any money, I just want to see things taken care of appropriately and in a timely manner. – FEELING HELPLESS

DEAR FEELING: I am very sorry for your loss. What you’re describing is something I see quite often in my practice. When someone passes, especially a close family member, the person named as executor can often feel overwhelmed. The weight of the grief and responsibility can cause delays, and adding an hour of distance can easily multiply the challenges.

I understand that while you’re not benefitting financially from your partner’s passing, you are looking for something that is just as important: closure. You want to see things handled properly and respectfully so you can move forward. Your partner chose her sister as executor, and those wishes need to be respected unless there is clear misconduct. These early delays may be rooted in uncertainty rather than avoidance. Often, an executor feels more confident moving ahead once probate is completed and the legal authority is formalized.  

Practically speaking, progress often starts with simple, decisive steps. In most estates, a dumpster is the first move. If something has no financial or sentimental value, it should be removed rather than shifted from one side of the room to the other. Action creates momentum.

Once family and close friends have had a chance to go through your partner’s possessions, the next step is often reaching out to a local charity. Unless someone is a professional Facebook Marketplace seller, most households don’t have the time or energy to sell each small item individually. There is usually a worthy local charity that will gladly accept donations and put them to good use.

If there are enough valuables to justify the service, I’ve also had great success using online auction companies. They will sort, package and catalogue the items, then handle everything from start to finish, including collecting the funds and reconciling the proceeds.

PRO TIP: I understand that you are frustrated. For now, patience and gentle encouragement may go further than confrontation. Time does pass, probate does get completed, and in most cases, things eventually get more structured and organized. You’re not wrong for wanting movement, but steady progress will likely come once the executor finds their footing. #Advice #AskDavid #TheNegotiator 

David is a top-selling Broker in Kitchener-Waterloo Region. He works personally with you when selling or buying your home. Moving? Get it right. Ask David today! Call or text 519-577-1212.